A lot of us made New Year’s Resolutions in January that we’ve already abandoned a few months into the year. We don’t need to be embarrassed, a few false starts is a universal human experience when we try to make changes in our lives.

There was a reason you made that New Year’s Resolution, though. Are you really ready to give up on it?

If you decided you wanted to cut down or give up on drinking or taking drugs in January and have already stumbled on the path, that doesn’t mean your journey is over. Every day of the year is a new opportunity to choose change.

Here are some tips to help you pick yourself up and keep going.

1. Think about why you made the resolution in the first place

You didn’t decide you wanted to cut down out of nowhere. You probably had good reasons to make the change. What were they? Sometimes it’s helpful to write out a list to help you stay clear. You can revisit your list whenever you feel your resolve slipping away.

2. Identify when and why you gave up on your resolution

Did you last a few days or weeks and then have a lapse, or did you not even start? Thinking about the sequence of events can help you figure out the triggers and barriers that prevented you from achieving your goals.

For example:

• Maybe you managed to stick to your goal of one glass of wine a night until you attended the same party as your ex, and you ended up drinking the whole bottle. This could mean that it might be helpful to excuse yourself from events with your ex until you feel more ready to handle it.
• Maybe you wanted to give up weed but started feeling unmanageably anxious and started smoking again. In this case, perhaps finding alternative ways to manage your anxiety could be a priority for you. There are a lot of options — meditation, exercise, medication, therapy. Try something different and see what works for you.
• Maybe you decided to quit something cold turkey but started feeling withdrawal symptoms and didn’t know how to handle them. Withdrawal can be dangerous if not done right, so it’s a good idea to chat to a professional who can help you identify the safest way to handle it.

Everybody has different triggers, or different reasons they turn to substances. Identifying yours can help you identify a path forward.

If your resolution never got off the ground at all, maybe you need to:

3. Set a specific, achievable goal

The optimism of the new year can lead us to think big. If we set goals that are out of reach, we get easily discouraged and give up on change.

In brief, your goals should be specific, achievable, and short term. Starting small will help you grow a sense of accomplishment that you can turn into forward momentum.

Check out our guide to setting and achieving goals for tips and tricks to set and keep resolutions.

Learn about S.M.A.R.T goals

4. Reach out for help

You don’t have to do this on your own. It can be an incredibly lonely and difficult way to do it. Peers and professionals have experience they can share to help you figure out how to handle the change.

Not sure how to reach out?

• Chat to one our counsellors about what’s going on. They can be a confidential sounding board or help refer you to other professional services.
• Check out our Online Community Forum, where you can connect with people who understand what you’re going through.
• Attend a SMART Recovery meeting, free peer support meetings held online or in person around the country.

You might be nervous about seeing a professional for the first time. That’s very common. Check out our tips to overcome those nerves.

5. Don’t ever assume it’s over

You will probably experience a lapse or relapse while you’re making change. Almost everybody does — it’s one of the stages of change. Having a stumble doesn’t mean you need to give up. When you’re ready, go back to the beginning and remind yourself why you wanted to change and keep moving forward.

Check out our tips: Keep going: How to move on from relapse.